I Never Knew...

...how much I would miss the little things about her.

...how much every single holiday would make me cry.

...how hard it would be to say her name out loud - even now.

...how much I would regret not visiting her or calling her more in the past few years - what was more important?

...how incredibly lucky I was to be her daughter.

...how much I would miss her laughter and her smile and her hugs and her jokes and the sound of her voice and her love and all the little things about her.

...how much I would miss her every single moment of every single day.

 ...I never knew...

Life...

Today, I will rediscover the part of myself that never stopped dancing among the sunflowers, twinkling like stars in the ocean of a cloudless sky...

The day I learn to trust entirely in the rhythm of a perfect universe... 

My life is my creation and so I shall take the time each day to sit among the sunflowers, listening to their gentle wisdom creating a life of love, happiness

and play... 

Stained-Glass Window

I live my life like a stained-glass window; closing no doors and covering no windows...allowing the light to filter through me in many different hues.  My job is not to direct anything, but only to filter into many different colors...my answer is my destiny and my guide is my joy.

Room for Improvement

I'm not a perfect Mom.  Far from it.  Any hope for me receiving Mother of the Year was wiped out long ago.  I constantly struggle with the demands society places on mothers (why should I drive a mini-van?  And issue those annoying time outs?  Or wear mom jeans?  Or stop listening to hip hop?).  I've read the parenting books, listened to the experts and amongst all the theories, I've learned one thing, there exists no perfect formula for raising kids.  To be the best possible mom, I have to infuse my parenting with the personality, creativity, instincts and history that is uniquely mine.  And sometimes, I fail miserable.  I lose my patience.  I yell.  I threaten.  Sometimes I simply expect too much.  But I hope you know that each day, I wake up hoping to do better.  Hoping that I will come a little closer to being that ideal parent.  Hoping that you will grow to be a responsible, caring adult despite my mistakes.  Knowing I'm not perfect but I'm working hard.  Because you are worth it.  And even on my very best days, there will always be room for improvement.

6.30.12 || Window to My Soul

Art is the window to a man's soul.  Without it, he would never be able to see beyond his immediate world; nor could the world see the man within.

 ~  C. Johnson

2.24.12 || The Path

All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware. – Martin Buber

2.20.12 || Courage

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says... I'll try again tomorrow.