Friday, September 07, 2007

9.7.2007 Wisdom from a friend....

"It’s a shame, I think, that relationships can’t stand on their own merits regardless of type or of length. That somehow their duration defines their quality (i.e. must be great, they’ve been together 13 years). That their current value is tied so tightly to their “apparent” future potential (i.e. this is awesome now, but only because I expect we’ll marry and be together the rest of our lives). And that their end must so often equal in discomfort and pain the happiness and bliss they first provided.

Why can’t a relationship of a week or a month or a year be judged solely by its moment? Why can’t the moment be enough? I’ve come to believe that few of us were meant to be with the same person for the complete duration of our lives. It’s a sweet fantasy, yes. But an incredible burden on one’s mate. An impossible responsibility to uphold for most. People change dramatically and far too often not in the same way. And, maybe more than anything, spending one’s entire life with one person would be a massive loss. Just as letting go completely the person you’ve left after so many years would be.

Every relationship, good or bad, plays its critical part in our lives. None will ever fulfill every need at every juncture along our winding road. Some that are perfect now will not meet the test at the next turn. Some that have no value today may help us leap a desperate chasm tomorrow and no more. But the best will shine like a beacon before us and continue to shine after we pass, so that we can look back as often as we need to for that comforting glow when the road ahead darkens."
Thank you, R.G.